...of a kind

You know what it's like when you've been struggling with one of those intractable problems that goes on for weeks and then in a flash of inspiration (provided by someone else) you suddenly crack it? The joy, the elation, the butterflies in the stomach moment? Yes you know what I mean. Well I had one of those this evening.

The details are unimportant right now, but suffice to say that something I thought was going to drag out until early next year has suddenly, and almost overnight, be tackled. This makes me feel surprisingly good if a touch edgy right now. The good bit lasted right up until I tried to protect what I'd done, at which point it all seemed to go slightly screwy. Not to worry on that score though, I think I know how to fix things tomorrow.

I would like to say a massive 'Thanks!' to MySQLDumper though. Thanks, whoever you are...

As a consequence of expecting the OGTT to come back beyond where it should be, calorific intake in these parts has taken something of a shift. No more the occasional chocolate (OK, slightly more than occasional), white rice has morphed into the brown variety, Weetabix has been altered to Bran Flakes. To be fair, much of this was in anticipation of the 12-14 hours fasting needed before the OGTT and wanting to give the clinic the best shot of getting a good reading as possible. This largely because I know when I did my blood tests before my company medical, I slipped up the evening before and ate something later than I should and also drank something other than water then as well. Am I hoping too much that the OGTT will actually say I'm still below the diabetes threshold, because I fasted properly this time. It may be wishful thinking on my part, but you never know. I'm not suffering from chocoholic withdrawal symptoms at all, oh no, not me...

I went for the OGTT this morning which gave me the opportunity to finish reading Graham Greene's 'The Quiet American'. I'd not really considered too much about the pre-Vietnam War aspects of that country, though I knew the French had some involvement there as a colonial power, so this book gave me some insight into that part of history, albeit through the lens of a piece of fiction in the form of a novel. It's a fine book and well worth a read if you've not already.

I didn't read the introduction by Zadie Smith until I'd read the novel cover to cover, but I was struck by this snippet and wondered for a parallel in my life here in the Middle East and how that has impacted on AM.

The simultaneous we desire we all possess for both the liberty of our lovers and their submission to our will...

Zadie Smith, 2004

There is no doubt that AM would not be in this country were it not for me. It is not a place you'd necessarily select as your home, less still as a woman in a society that places so many restrictions (real and imagined) on their behaviour. There is though a freedom that comes from the financial considerations involved in working here and it is these that attracted me here and have kept me in this golden cage for so long. Whilst here, AM has been able to complete her law degree through the OU, thereby providing 'liberty for my lover', but in remaining here for so long, am I also 'controlling' her with the carrot of stability and security. I don't know for sure, but perhaps I ought to find out.