It's a simple enough question and one that for most people should begin to spark their imagination and at the same time their taste buds. A curry maybe, perhaps a nice rare steak, a...

...and there's where I hit the problem. I'm sitting here trying to think of anything that might come next in a list of appealing meals and am hitting a perpetual brick wall. Since starting the Glucophage (Metformin), the mere suggestion of food has become about as appealing as shaving 3 times a day, probably less so if the truth be told. My food intake is now a largely mechanical function, something I know I have to do, but in which I am struggling to find any real enjoyment or pleasure.

For the last 4 years, since the angioplasty, our diet has been modified to do the sensible things of increasing the amount of fruit and vegetables, cutting down on anything with saturated fats, minimising the amount of meals that involved frying, and all very sensible too. I was quite happy with that and succeeded in losing a few excess pounds into the bargain. Not so with this one though. Add into the mix the need to re-balance the proportions of carbohydrates vs protein and throw a few foul tasting tablets on top and all of a sudden, things just don't taste the same, or at very least I find them difficult to swallow and there is often a slight sense of nausea (this is common with Metformin I gather). Eating now takes a concentrated effort, unless it somehow contains readily accessible sugars...

And there lies the rub. All the stuff that supposedly I'm supposed to be eating remind me of an over-boiled hobnail boot and are about as palatable. Chicken reminds me of chewing rubber, salmon of... well, to tell the truth, I'm not actually sure, but it's not nice. I can though happily munch my way through a fruit salad, chocolate or toffee vanishes in seconds, I can't exist on that though and neither should I.

About a month back I bought one of those home blood-glucose test meters. Nice little kit, American rather than British read-out, but that's an easy sort, just divide by 18. Oh and then there's the usual Saudi complication, buy fancy equipment, but can't readily get the replacement test strips or lancets. So far what it's regularly showing me is that my blood-glucose levels are on the low end of where they should be. My guess is that only recently having been diagnosed with diabetes and only just being in the range that is considered as such, the tablets are actually too strong for my current needs. Further changes to what AM and I are eating are just compounding the problem.

Which brings me back to the original question, to which my answer these days is becoming and increasingly terse "I don't know" and the inward thought that "I don't fucking care either". AM is now wholly disinclined to try anything new (from her extensive recipe book library) and I find myself unable to help - there are times when just the sight and smell of food just makes me want to throw up - is that how a bulimic or anorexic feels I wonder? Whatever it is, it makes me about as useful in the food decision department as a breezeblock.

One way or another, I guess this has to sort itself out, but right now it's not proving an awful lot of fun. On the positive side, I've lost a few more pounds. Wonder where they went?

Just for the hell of it, I called into the Med Centre on the way to work this morning. Today's excuse being that AM wanted some stuff collecting and I thought I may as well get my usual repeat ahead of the trip to the UK for (Ugh!) Christmas. No problem you'd think, except that it looked suspiciously like they were waiting for me...

Medical type person: "Ah, I'm glad you called in, I need to speak to you"

Me: "Have the results have come back then?"

MTP: "Yes, and we're not happy about this figure here"

He points at a circled figure two hours into my OGTT

MTP: "Normally at this point we'd expect to see your blood sugar levels coming down rather further than they have"

He calls the Doctor over who's sat at the back of the office shuffling paper

Doctor: "Well we've looked at this and there's no doubt that this confirms the diagnosis of diabetes, so you won't need to do an OGTT again"

I think they call that last bit a crumb of comfort. Bugger! Not what I had in mind, it seems that the body is disintegrating still further. The almost religious attempt at starvation last week before the test didn't help much then.

Doc: "Do you consume a lot of soft drinks and sugary foodstuff?"

Me: "No. I've known for a while that 'full fat' softies make me feel odd"

Doc: "Well it's not like you're overweight or have any of the other high risk contributing factors [he means I don't smoke], so given these readings, I'm not going to wait another three months to assess whether your blood sugar levels can be bought under control just by changing your diet. I'll start you on the tablets straight away."

Oh good, more fucking tablets!

Doc: "MTP, would you get a couple of packs of unpronouncible patented diabetes remedy? Now, I'd like you to start these with your largest meal of the day. They can have some side effects when you start them, nausia, light headedness, that sort of thing..."

Sounds just perfect, the very thing almost

Doc: "So start with one a day for a few days, then gradually build up to three a day. They help promote the production of insulin. As we get older, we all start to lose the ability to control our own sugar levels"

Thanks for the reminder. MTP returns with two large boxes.

Me: "Can I get my repeat too?"

Doc: "What do you have?"

I reel off the usual array

Doc: Ah well, we don't really like giving that one to people over 40 unless they've had this medical procedure done.

He mentions something involving a camera...

Doc: "I'll get a referral made up. There are much better things to take than those ones anyway"

That will be more tablets then will it? I suspect it might.

10 minutes later, I'm out of there, with a letter, a copy of my OGTT result and a bag containing five different types of drug counted out in hundreds. What a way to start the week! It's a good job nothing is going wrong any further down, they'd have me on the little blue pills in a heartbeat.

As you'd expect, AM is not happy about all of this. It seems that every time she flies out of the Magic Kingdom (like she will this evening), I end up finding out something 'interesting' about myself, like this. It would be fair to say, that I don't choose the timing, but I know what she means.

'Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it', or at least that's the way the song goes. I wonder when the next health turd is going to get lobbed in my general direction? Funny thing is, I don't remember standing near any fans...

As a consequence of expecting the OGTT to come back beyond where it should be, calorific intake in these parts has taken something of a shift. No more the occasional chocolate (OK, slightly more than occasional), white rice has morphed into the brown variety, Weetabix has been altered to Bran Flakes. To be fair, much of this was in anticipation of the 12-14 hours fasting needed before the OGTT and wanting to give the clinic the best shot of getting a good reading as possible. This largely because I know when I did my blood tests before my company medical, I slipped up the evening before and ate something later than I should and also drank something other than water then as well. Am I hoping too much that the OGTT will actually say I'm still below the diabetes threshold, because I fasted properly this time. It may be wishful thinking on my part, but you never know. I'm not suffering from chocoholic withdrawal symptoms at all, oh no, not me...

Of necessity, this post needs to be short, as despite the lateness of the hour, I need to go and exercise - a circuit of compound walking should do.

About 10 days ago, I went off for my annual company medical - 'they' feel it's important, and I wouldn't want to disagree with 'them'. Inevitably, the blood tests showed that all was not as rosy in the garden as I would have liked to believe, but they would send it off to the lab and get a 2nd opinion. I suppose it was only fair to get the full treatment as I had 'paid' for it with a needle in either arm.

A couple of days ago I was invited in for 'a chat'. This morning I headed in there to see what was occurring. It would seem that they have confirmed that my blood sugar levels are somewhat out of kilter and rather up on where they should be. I had a similar conversation about 3 years back and a oral glucose tolerance test confirmed that I was in the pre-diabetic range. A series of dietary changes later and on subsequent medicals it would seem that all was under control. Not so this time though.

This time it turns out that my readings are above where 'they' want them and I'm due another OGTT to confirm the doctor's expectation that this will now confirm that I have moved on a stage and will be considered a diabetic. This is not the greatest news I could have had today, or any other day for that matter. This is very early stage stuff and I should not expect to notice any symptoms yet, nor do I need to start on tablets of any form - just more dietary care and some exercise (see above).

With that, I'll go and put my training shoes on and head off out - delightful stuff...