...of a kind

You know what it's like when you've been struggling with one of those intractable problems that goes on for weeks and then in a flash of inspiration (provided by someone else) you suddenly crack it? The joy, the elation, the butterflies in the stomach moment? Yes you know what I mean. Well I had one of those this evening.

The details are unimportant right now, but suffice to say that something I thought was going to drag out until early next year has suddenly, and almost overnight, be tackled. This makes me feel surprisingly good if a touch edgy right now. The good bit lasted right up until I tried to protect what I'd done, at which point it all seemed to go slightly screwy. Not to worry on that score though, I think I know how to fix things tomorrow.

I would like to say a massive 'Thanks!' to MySQLDumper though. Thanks, whoever you are...

Lets get the hard part out of the way first - yes, I'm 48 years old tomorrow and there's nothing I can do about it...

Face it, given a choice there are not that many of us who would willingly get older if it wasn't actually required by the laws of nature. Who wants to suffer indignity of slowly but surely disintegrating and watching as younger folk do things that you once thought easy, when you know that to try it once more would almost certainly end with a trip to casualty or at the very least a chiropractor. Not too much to be done on that score though, so I'll pretend it isn't happening until something tears.

Looking back on the life I've had to date, I find myself wondering whether it was as much of a life as it could have been. Did I try hard enough along the way, were there mistakes I could have avoided, were there opportunities missed; 20/20 hindsight would probably point out a few choice moments where in true Sliding Doors fashion an alternative reality could have had its chance.

In many senses, my life has been relatively easy and free from some of the trials other people are faced with. Born in the UK, no broken home to escape from, well educated but not at a university, never unemployed, happily married and competent, if not outstandingly so, at most things I choose to take an interest in. A steady if unremarkable life, riding over the waves if not at their very crest; head above water. Were you not to know me, it's unlikely you would notice me in the street or any other place for that matter.

None of the above meant to suggest that some how my life has been a breeze, there is much too much evidence to suggest otherwise. No one can go through the pain of divorce or the terror of being forced to confront your own impending mortality to think otherwise. The human animal is remarkably resilient though and it's amazing how soon such challenges are, if not forgotten, then at least parked far enough back in the memory that you can reflect on them in a semi-detached manner. I clearly can and will survive for a while longer yet.

Or at least until I stop...