I went for the OGTT this morning which gave me the opportunity to finish reading Graham Greene's 'The Quiet American'. I'd not really considered too much about the pre-Vietnam War aspects of that country, though I knew the French had some involvement there as a colonial power, so this book gave me some insight into that part of history, albeit through the lens of a piece of fiction in the form of a novel. It's a fine book and well worth a read if you've not already.

I didn't read the introduction by Zadie Smith until I'd read the novel cover to cover, but I was struck by this snippet and wondered for a parallel in my life here in the Middle East and how that has impacted on AM.

The simultaneous we desire we all possess for both the liberty of our lovers and their submission to our will...

Zadie Smith, 2004

There is no doubt that AM would not be in this country were it not for me. It is not a place you'd necessarily select as your home, less still as a woman in a society that places so many restrictions (real and imagined) on their behaviour. There is though a freedom that comes from the financial considerations involved in working here and it is these that attracted me here and have kept me in this golden cage for so long. Whilst here, AM has been able to complete her law degree through the OU, thereby providing 'liberty for my lover', but in remaining here for so long, am I also 'controlling' her with the carrot of stability and security. I don't know for sure, but perhaps I ought to find out.